Channel 1

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Channel 6

With Trevor McDonald

Cult sci-fi drama repeated from the 1970s after persistent demands from crazed obsessive fans all over the globe. Many of whom cannot receive Channel 2.

Double-bill of the Australian soap set in and around a small town hospital.

Guest star Jimmy from crusty rock band The Levellers.

A lost kitten has found its way into a chemical factory.

With Trevor McDonald

A group of extrovert twentysomethings are trapped in the insects exhibition of the Natural History Museum for two months in this new social experiment.

Various members of the public discuss the best methods for storing milk, in this ten-minute short film.

In tonight's forecast, rain and cloud is expected throughout the country.

In today’s episode of the Slough-based soap, health inspector "grimy" Gary threatens to close the local café.

Celebrity chefs prepare a meal entirely from leftovers found in their fridges and dustbins.

Contestants attempt various tongue twisters to win cash prizes.

With Trevor McDonald

New style game show in which a bag of money is placed in front of two contestants, who are left to fight over who takes it home. Unsuitable for younger children.

Student chefs give tips on the best meals to make with baked beans. Part one of eight.

Another episode of the ridiculously long running soap.

A token element of culture in an otherwise cultureless schedule.

Following from the phenomenally successful Walking With Dinosaurs, this new series imagines what it might be like if we lived on the Planet of the Apes.

Documentary. This week looking at the molecular structure and life cycle of snails.

Docusoap following the workers at a chiropodists clinic in Guildford. In tonight's installment, Clara is called out to investigate a particularly nasty case of gout.

In the most tuned in to, least watched programme in TV history, Stephen Hawking reads another chapter from his best-selling book.

With Trevor McDonald

New series. A pillar-of-the-community rural policeman is relocated to the suburbs, and finds himself at loggerheads with his antagonistic new superior. Stars Nick Berry as PC Aingel and Alan Rickman as Inspector Slyme.

‘Fleas’

Narcolepsy-suffering med. student Ben performs open heart surgery and Dr Harris struggles with his inner demons. Meanwhile, an outbreak of fleas threatens the hospital with closure.

With Trevor McDonald

‘Flipping Burgers’

Tracing the lives of Britain’s stars from their humble beginnings to the height of fame - and back again. Featuring among others Shane from Boyzone the third one out of Bros.

With Trevor McDonald

With Trevor McDonald

Obscure jazz artists play a one hour jam.

Tonight's guest not yet confirmed.

Coverage of this exciting event in the sporting calendar. Live from Grimsby.

Without Trevor McDonald

Transsexual Ron falls for his transvestite brother’s hermaphrodite girlfriend Susan.

Action thriller. Nic Cage plays a sensitive yet aggressive family man fighting to protect his family from an evil multinational company trying to sell them Ikea furniture.

Contains strobe lighting.

With guest speakers Matt from Dodgy and Chris Tarrant.

A compilation of programmes and nausea inducing graphics, made on the cheap under the (correct) assumption that no-one watches them.

Irreverent animation about a glue-sniffing porcupine.

For viewers without the teletext feature on their televisions, an opportunity to read the four pages shown repeatedly over a period of six hours, all accompanied by a user-friendly high pitched beep.

The day's least informative stories played on a loop to gently lull viewers to sleep/infuriate night shift workers who want to find out what's actually going on in the world.

With Trevor McDonald.

No more programmes. Go to bed now.