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The Hobgoblin Manifesto
We pledge not to sneer at the musically tasteless, advocate elitism, or laugh at students who still think it's OK to like the Teletubbies/eighties music/Radiohead due to a) irony or b) post-modernism
We pledge to avoid ranting and/or raving unless a situation unavoidably requires such means of expression
We pledge a vow of tolerance towards all styles of music, and all artists involved*
We pledge to promote the inclusion of moshing as an Olympic sport. If such pass-times as curling and ballroom dancing are worthy, then jumping up and down in a sweaty mass to rock music has to count. ("We reach the final stretch in the Moshing finals of 2002, and it looks like Idlewild are really pushing the contenders this year, with not one, but two encores")
We pledge to instigate a More Kazoos In Rock campaign (theme tune: 'Hooligans' by Embrace).
We pledge to live according to the doctrine of Kenickie, and install 'Come Out 2Nite' as the new English National Anthem
* With the exceptions of the following: Pop, Country and Western, UK Garage, R'n'B, House, Trance and variations thereof, Daphne and Celeste, Shed Seven, Ocean Colour Scene, Robbie Williams, The Spice Girls (as a group and individually), Whitney Houston and all purveyors of morbid AOR ballads, Godspeed You Black Emperor, Mogwai, and the rest of the "No Tune" brigade championed by the NME, Shania Twain, Boyzone, Westlife, Blink 182 and other third-rate Green Day imitators, Mick Jagger, Paul Weller and everyone involved with Dadrock, Stevie Wonder's later work, Michael Jackson's entire career, and Steps.
